Devotional Poetry Uncategorized

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one who feels distant from God more often than near?


Am I the only one
who feels distant from God
more often than near?

Am I the only one
pretending I’ve heard his voice?
I would love to catch even a whisper.

Am I the only one
waiting for some kind of revelation
the way a child works on growing all year
until their birthday
and in one moment, passes from
4 to 5?

I’m waiting for my birthday.

Am I the only disciple nodding
off in the garden?

I can’t be the only one who
prays memorized words.

Sometimes I think someone swapped out
my glass of resurrection wine
for a box of grape juice.



11 comments on “Am I the only one?

  1. Beautiful psalm. You are definitely not alone. I go through moments of both despair and hope too. I have found hope most often in the body and blood of Christ through the Eucharist. For in the body and blood of Christ is Jesus himself, and in Jesus himself lies hope, and love, and mercy, and all that is Good. God bless.

  2. Nancy McKee

    You’re not alone.

  3. You are NOT the only one, this just speaks to the truth that your heart is genuinely seeking. It’s best to be honest, He already knows the truth. He’s still working on your heart! I’m there with you though, a sister through Christ waiting on a revelation as well. Until that comes, still sharing His truth!

  4. Totally feel you here Ethan. Nearly every day. And yet, somehow I still believe. So hold on.

  5. bethiefaith

    You’re not the only one…
    Psalms 51KJV

  6. Wow! Loved it brother, God bless.

  7. No, sweetheart, you aren’t the only one. I assume the questions in your poem are rhetorical, but just in case you’re feeling lonely and in need of affirmation, you are not alone! I’ll be praying for you today.
    Lord Jesus, send your Holy Spirit more fully into Ethan’s heart today; Father God, wrap him in your presence. May he know you are with him even in your apparent silence. Amen.

  8. My feelings as well. I feel unforgivable, undeserving. Perhaps He’s near but my guilt is holding him away?

  9. You’re not the only one. Thanks for sharing your heart, your struggles and triumphs, and the goodness of the Gospel with others.
    Sharing mine as well 🙂

  10. He has never left us. He hasn’t left you. Something I have been learning is to actually be talking with God all day and most importantly taking some time to listen. We can want to hear from God all we want but if we aren’t listening it’s not nub of a conversation it’s us talking to God but it would almost like us ignoring him. I would encourage you to take some time if you are feeling distant from God to spend it listening to Him. Hope you are having an awesome week Ethan!

  11. Definitely not. I think we all go through that. I think He expects us to wander from Him sometimes. But boy, is He good at bringing us back. Sometimes not in the ways we wish for, but definitely in the best way. When have you experienced Him before? Did you feel lost at the time? Were you hurting? Were you joyful? Regardless, remember those times. Have Faith in Him, He’s still got His eyes on you. you just gotta take those glasses off, wipe them clean, and refocus. 💙

Leave a Reply