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Why I’m Warming Up to Trump

I think I was too harsh on him until I realized one thing about his time in office…

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I think some of us may have been too harsh on Trump when he first took office. His policies and rationale may not be what many of us agreed with, but what he has done so far has been wonderful.

He has fought the Obamacare system the previous commander in chief worked so hard to establish, and he has convinced many that this is the best course of action. Trump’s professionalism is matched only by his presidential demeanor, as demonstrated by his graceful rebuttals to all of his opponents.

He has cut down on terrorism by 170% simply by enforcing racist travel laws, and he has magnificently upheld all sorts of Christian virtues by the model way he lives his life. He set 400 gorillas loose from the Central Park Zoo, giving them the life of freedom in the urban jungle they always longed for.

His policies on whipped cream “not being fluffy enough” is definitely something I can get behind, because I’m a huge advocate for whipped cream. Yet when I learned that The Donald is beginning a diet of exclusively¬†kale leaves and juice squeezed out of his employees’ earlobes, I had to give him some props for upping his health game.

I recently discovered his business deals with entrepreneur Elon Musk to have the first building constructed on Mars be a Trump Tower. This only goes to show that Trump has built a solid business empire using honest tactics and…okay I can’t do this any more.

April fools!!

I made all that up.

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